Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness

  “Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used … Continue reading Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness

What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’

  I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes … Continue reading What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’

What Happens If You Come Over Unannounced – Spoonie Edition

My phone rings and it’s a family member on the line saying, “Hey, I am right by your house, I am going to stop by and see you!”. “Great, of course I want to see you, see you soon”, I say. My heart sinks into my stomach and panic has just set in. When you … Continue reading What Happens If You Come Over Unannounced – Spoonie Edition

How Chronic Illness Showed Me My Best Quality: Perseverance

I can say growing up I never really had a ‘niche’. I was always trying new activities and trying to fit in. Since I was a little girl, I felt like I was an outcast or I just wasn’t up to ‘par’ like the other kids. As I continued to grow I ended up finding … Continue reading How Chronic Illness Showed Me My Best Quality: Perseverance

When Lupus Makes You Break Up With Your First Love: the Sun

When I was younger, people used to always compliment my skin tone. I would have so many family and friends tell me how no matter how long I would stay in the sun, I would never burn. I never used sunscreen and it would take me days to look like I even went into the … Continue reading When Lupus Makes You Break Up With Your First Love: the Sun

When Lupus Causes You to Feel Internally Torn

As I write this I can feel tears fall down my face and my heart break just a little bit more. I have never felt so torn in my life – physically and mentally. Since my diagnosis I haven’t really come to terms with what I have for many reasons… sometimes my doctor thinks other … Continue reading When Lupus Causes You to Feel Internally Torn

How Lupus Changed Who I Thought I Would Be In My 20’s

Currently, I am 26 years old, going to be 27 in just a few months. Unfortunately, since I can remember, I have never felt completely “normal,” but I can say 16 was probably the best I ever felt. Looking back now 10 years ago, I had a vision of what now might look like. I had this image that … Continue reading How Lupus Changed Who I Thought I Would Be In My 20’s