“Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used … Continue reading Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness
I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes … Continue reading What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’
I can say growing up I never really had a ‘niche’. I was always trying new activities and trying to fit in. Since I was a little girl, I felt like I was an outcast or I just wasn’t up to ‘par’ like the other kids. As I continued to grow I ended up finding … Continue reading How Chronic Illness Showed Me My Best Quality: Perseverance
As I write this I can feel tears fall down my face and my heart break just a little bit more. I have never felt so torn in my life – physically and mentally. Since my diagnosis I haven’t really come to terms with what I have for many reasons… sometimes my doctor thinks other … Continue reading When Lupus Causes You to Feel Internally Torn
Currently, I am 26 years old, going to be 27 in just a few months. Unfortunately, since I can remember, I have never felt completely “normal,” but I can say 16 was probably the best I ever felt. Looking back now 10 years ago, I had a vision of what now might look like. I had this image that … Continue reading How Lupus Changed Who I Thought I Would Be In My 20’s
My heart feels like it’s been broken into a million pieces. That I am standing in a dark room seeing all the scattered glass around me. Crawled into a ball I am trying to hold back the tears, trying to put the pieces of my puzzling life back together. It’s becoming harder and harder to … Continue reading When Loved Ones Make You Feel Alone in Your Battle With Chronic Illness
I always find it funny how quick people are to judge. Recently, I’ve been told by a few people close to me that I’m not as “nice” as I used to be and that I’ve changed. My question to them is, what do you expect when you’re at a constant war with yourself? It’s … Continue reading 8 Ways Lupus Has Changed My Behavior
