You, sitting there with your hands covering your face, wiping the tears from your eyes, breathing heavily, feeling ever so broken inside; the one who is chronically ill, living with chronic pain. I see you. I am actually one of you. And I am terribly sorry that your pain has gotten so bad. As someone…
Tag: energy
How Lupus Makes Me Feel Grateful For My Birthday
It’s November, my favorite month of the year. I think it’s truly the most beautiful time of the year. A reminder that life is always changing and ongoing. Not only is my favorite holiday in November, but it’s also my birthday month. This year I will be 27 years old. I can’t explain why, but…
When You Can No Longer Smile Through The Pain
To be chronically ill and live with chronic pain, you have no choice but to try and be strong. You must smile through the pain, not show the worry on your face, pretend you’re OK when you’re not, and hold back countless tears. For the most part, I’d like to say that I do pretty well…
Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness
“Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used…
What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’
I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes…
What Happens If You Come Over Unannounced – Spoonie Edition
My phone rings and it’s a family member on the line saying, “Hey, I am right by your house, I am going to stop by and see you!”. “Great, of course I want to see you, see you soon”, I say. My heart sinks into my stomach and panic has just set in. When you…
My Answer To You, When You Ask “Why I Don’t Have Real Kids?”
I can hear the whispers and I can see the laugher. The way you look at me when you pass then look into the stroller I am pushing and you see furry animals instead of a human baby. I feel embarrassed and the look on your face makes me feel like I should be…
How Chronic Illness Showed Me My Best Quality: Perseverance
I can say growing up I never really had a ‘niche’. I was always trying new activities and trying to fit in. Since I was a little girl, I felt like I was an outcast or I just wasn’t up to ‘par’ like the other kids. As I continued to grow I ended up finding…
Dealing With Cancellation Policies When You Are Chronically Ill
OK, so maybe it’s just me… maybe I’m letting my emotions get the best of me. But I have something that need to get off my chest and share with others to see how they feel. This has been really bothering me lately and I doubt you’d ever imagine what it would be, but I…
When Lupus Causes You to Feel Internally Torn
As I write this I can feel tears fall down my face and my heart break just a little bit more. I have never felt so torn in my life – physically and mentally. Since my diagnosis I haven’t really come to terms with what I have for many reasons… sometimes my doctor thinks other…
One Tough Spoonie 