My Life and Lessons with Lupus

I’m stuck. Stuck in a body that cannot keep up with its aspirations. I am only 26, where age has become nothing but a number. I say that because I almost never feel my own age. In reality, my age fluctuates from 56-86. But, it never stops me from trying. If Lupus has taught me anything, … Continue reading My Life and Lessons with Lupus

How Depression And Anxiety Have Shaped Who I Am Today For The Better

My life is a mess. I literally don’t know if I am coming or going… The problem is I can’t ever think back to a time where my life was anything but a disaster. As I’ve grown up, I truly thought I wasn’t affected by certain things in my childhood. Standing here today, I can … Continue reading How Depression And Anxiety Have Shaped Who I Am Today For The Better

When You Can No Longer Smile Through The Pain

To be chronically ill and live with chronic pain, you have no choice but to try and be strong. You must smile through the pain, not show the worry on your face, pretend you’re OK when you’re not, and hold back countless tears. For the most part, I’d like to say that I do pretty well … Continue reading When You Can No Longer Smile Through The Pain

When the ER Cannot Help You and Your Autoimmune Disease

Where do you go when you feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life? Where do you go when you feel like you need immediate medical attention or something bad is going to happen? The last resort when you just can’t handle it anymore? Most of us would answer, the hospital! Well that is … Continue reading When the ER Cannot Help You and Your Autoimmune Disease

Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness

  “Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used … Continue reading Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness

What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’

  I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes … Continue reading What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’

My Answer To You, When You Ask “Why I Don’t Have Real Kids?”

  I can hear the whispers and I can see the laugher. The way you look at me when you pass then look into the stroller I am pushing and you see furry animals instead of a human baby. I feel embarrassed and the look on your face makes me feel like I should be … Continue reading My Answer To You, When You Ask “Why I Don’t Have Real Kids?”