I’m stuck. Stuck in a body that cannot keep up with its aspirations. I am only 26, where age has become nothing but a number. I say that because I almost never feel my own age. In reality, my age fluctuates from 56-86. But, it never stops me from trying. If Lupus has taught me anything,…
Tag: connective tissue disease
How Depression And Anxiety Have Shaped Who I Am Today For The Better
My life is a mess. I literally don’t know if I am coming or going… The problem is I can’t ever think back to a time where my life was anything but a disaster. As I’ve grown up, I truly thought I wasn’t affected by certain things in my childhood. Standing here today, I can…
When You Can No Longer Smile Through The Pain
To be chronically ill and live with chronic pain, you have no choice but to try and be strong. You must smile through the pain, not show the worry on your face, pretend you’re OK when you’re not, and hold back countless tears. For the most part, I’d like to say that I do pretty well…
When the ER Cannot Help You and Your Autoimmune Disease
Where do you go when you feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life? Where do you go when you feel like you need immediate medical attention or something bad is going to happen? The last resort when you just can’t handle it anymore? Most of us would answer, the hospital! Well that is…
Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness
“Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used…
What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’
I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes…
My Answer To You, When You Ask “Why I Don’t Have Real Kids?”
I can hear the whispers and I can see the laugher. The way you look at me when you pass then look into the stroller I am pushing and you see furry animals instead of a human baby. I feel embarrassed and the look on your face makes me feel like I should be…
How Chronic Illness Showed Me My Best Quality: Perseverance
I can say growing up I never really had a ‘niche’. I was always trying new activities and trying to fit in. Since I was a little girl, I felt like I was an outcast or I just wasn’t up to ‘par’ like the other kids. As I continued to grow I ended up finding…
When Lupus Makes You Break Up With Your First Love: the Sun
When I was younger, people used to always compliment my skin tone. I would have so many family and friends tell me how no matter how long I would stay in the sun, I would never burn. I never used sunscreen and it would take me days to look like I even went into the…
Dealing With Cancellation Policies When You Are Chronically Ill
OK, so maybe it’s just me… maybe I’m letting my emotions get the best of me. But I have something that need to get off my chest and share with others to see how they feel. This has been really bothering me lately and I doubt you’d ever imagine what it would be, but I…
One Tough Spoonie 