As I write this I can feel tears fall down my face and my heart break just a little bit more. I have never felt so torn in my life – physically and mentally. Since my diagnosis I haven’t really come to terms with what I have for many reasons… sometimes my doctor thinks other…
Tag: chronic pain
How Lupus Changed Who I Thought I Would Be In My 20’s
Currently, I am 26 years old, going to be 27 in just a few months. Unfortunately, since I can remember, I have never felt completely “normal,” but I can say 16 was probably the best I ever felt. Looking back now 10 years ago, I had a vision of what now might look like. I had this image that…
When Loved Ones Make You Feel Alone in Your Battle With Chronic Illness
My heart feels like it’s been broken into a million pieces. That I am standing in a dark room seeing all the scattered glass around me. Crawled into a ball I am trying to hold back the tears, trying to put the pieces of my puzzling life back together. It’s becoming harder and harder to…
8 Ways Lupus Has Changed My Behavior
I always find it funny how quick people are to judge. Recently, I’ve been told by a few people close to me that I’m not as “nice” as I used to be and that I’ve changed. My question to them is, what do you expect when you’re at a constant war with yourself? It’s…
How I Thought My Diagnosis Would Bring Me Closer to ‘Normalcy’
I remember the day as clear as yesterday. I remember the feeling – lost, hopeless, and petrified. A few moments later my hands became stiff and I could no longer use them. I felt the beating of my heart like it was exploding through my chest. I was sitting at my desk at work when…
One Tough Spoonie 