How Lupus Makes Me Feel Grateful For My Birthday

It’s November, my favorite month of the year. I think it’s truly the most beautiful time of the year. A reminder that life is always changing and ongoing. Not only is my favorite holiday in November, but it’s also my birthday month. This year I will be 27 years old. I can’t explain why, but…

When You Can No Longer Smile Through The Pain

To be chronically ill and live with chronic pain, you have no choice but to try and be strong. You must smile through the pain, not show the worry on your face, pretend you’re OK when you’re not, and hold back countless tears. For the most part, I’d like to say that I do pretty well…

How Chronic Illness Makes Me Feel Insecure With My Marriage

Have you ever thought that one day you’d wake up and your life would completely change? Did you ever think that you might lose the person you once were? I know, I didn’t. I always saw myself as fun, spontaneous, and happy. If someone asked me to describe myself today, I couldn’t imagine using any…

Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness

  “Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used…

What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’

  I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes…

How Chronic Illness Showed Me My Best Quality: Perseverance

I can say growing up I never really had a ‘niche’. I was always trying new activities and trying to fit in. Since I was a little girl, I felt like I was an outcast or I just wasn’t up to ‘par’ like the other kids. As I continued to grow I ended up finding…

When Lupus Makes You Break Up With Your First Love: the Sun

When I was younger, people used to always compliment my skin tone. I would have so many family and friends tell me how no matter how long I would stay in the sun, I would never burn. I never used sunscreen and it would take me days to look like I even went into the…