It hurts. It feels as if my heart has been ripped from my chest and stepped on right in front of me. I feel hollow, confused, lost, and devastated. Yet again, it’s another diagnosis. I never knew that it would just keep adding up. That my life would become a game of whack-a-mole. There was…
Tag: but you don’t look sick
Welcome #AmbassadorsFirstClass For The Lupus Foundation of America, Florida Chapter
Have you ever been in a room surrounded with people just like you? In a way that they just get you. These people are actually strangers that you just met, but have come together for a common purpose. That you feel you can speak what’s on your mind without hesitation nor judgement. Thoughts that you’ve…
You Are Not Alone ( From Another Chronically Ill Person To You)
You, sitting there with your hands covering your face, wiping the tears from your eyes, breathing heavily, feeling ever so broken inside; the one who is chronically ill, living with chronic pain. I see you. I am actually one of you. And I am terribly sorry that your pain has gotten so bad. As someone…
My Open Letter To Lupus
Dear Lupus, I am writing to tell you that I want you out of my life! I am sick and tired of you interfering and wreaking havoc in my body. I hate the way you’ve changed my entire life! I hate the way I no longer do many of the things or activities I used…
What I’m Thinking About This New Year’s as a Chronic Illness Warrior
Three, two, one… Happy New Year! You look around the room and everyone is smiling, laughing, kissing and blissful. It feels like in that moment the world pauses. Everything comes to a complete stop waiting for the final countdown of the year. One of the few moments in life where time feels still. Some people…
I Am Not The Grinch, But I Do Lack Christmas Cheer – Spoonie Edition
I promise you, I am not the Grinch. Though you might think I am if you see me around Christmas time. I am one of those people, yes, the one who skips through the radio stations so fast, so they don’t accidently land on the Christmas station. I walk into the stores and feel like…
How Lupus Makes Me Feel Grateful For My Birthday
It’s November, my favorite month of the year. I think it’s truly the most beautiful time of the year. A reminder that life is always changing and ongoing. Not only is my favorite holiday in November, but it’s also my birthday month. This year I will be 27 years old. I can’t explain why, but…
Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness
“Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used…
What I Need You To Know About Your ‘Good Intentions’
I hear my cellphone ring on a Friday evening, I look down and I’m hesitant to answer because it’s you. I answer because I care about you and I know you care about me too. “Hey, do you want to meet up tonight for dinner, maybe a drink or something?”, you say. Silence comes…
My Answer To You, When You Ask “Why I Don’t Have Real Kids?”
I can hear the whispers and I can see the laugher. The way you look at me when you pass then look into the stroller I am pushing and you see furry animals instead of a human baby. I feel embarrassed and the look on your face makes me feel like I should be…
One Tough Spoonie 