It hurts. It feels as if my heart has been ripped from my chest and stepped on right in front of me. I feel hollow, confused, lost, and devastated. Yet again, it’s another diagnosis. I never knew that it would just keep adding up. That my life would become a game of whack-a-mole. There was…
Tag: autoimmune disease
Dear Husband From Your Chronically Ill Wife(Valentine’s Day Letter)
Dear Husband, I would like to first say, I love you. That I couldn’t be more thankful nor grateful for anything else in my life as I am with you. We’ve spent many Valentine’s together and I couldn’t be happier. Though this one feels different. I am not sure why, but it just does. …
Top 5 Everyday Beauty Essentials – Spoonie Tools Edition
* Please note these are just opinions and recommendations based on my use. I am not a doctor or claiming that these are going to work for everyone, just based on myself. Please note that I am not responsible if you do not like or if this product does not agree with you. These are…
How Lupus Makes Me Feel Grateful For My Birthday
It’s November, my favorite month of the year. I think it’s truly the most beautiful time of the year. A reminder that life is always changing and ongoing. Not only is my favorite holiday in November, but it’s also my birthday month. This year I will be 27 years old. I can’t explain why, but…
My Life and Lessons with Lupus
I’m stuck. Stuck in a body that cannot keep up with its aspirations. I am only 26, where age has become nothing but a number. I say that because I almost never feel my own age. In reality, my age fluctuates from 56-86. But, it never stops me from trying. If Lupus has taught me anything,…
How Depression And Anxiety Have Shaped Who I Am Today For The Better
My life is a mess. I literally don’t know if I am coming or going… The problem is I can’t ever think back to a time where my life was anything but a disaster. As I’ve grown up, I truly thought I wasn’t affected by certain things in my childhood. Standing here today, I can…
When You Can No Longer Smile Through The Pain
To be chronically ill and live with chronic pain, you have no choice but to try and be strong. You must smile through the pain, not show the worry on your face, pretend you’re OK when you’re not, and hold back countless tears. For the most part, I’d like to say that I do pretty well…
How Chronic Illness Makes Me Feel Insecure With My Marriage
Have you ever thought that one day you’d wake up and your life would completely change? Did you ever think that you might lose the person you once were? I know, I didn’t. I always saw myself as fun, spontaneous, and happy. If someone asked me to describe myself today, I couldn’t imagine using any…
When the ER Cannot Help You and Your Autoimmune Disease
Where do you go when you feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life? Where do you go when you feel like you need immediate medical attention or something bad is going to happen? The last resort when you just can’t handle it anymore? Most of us would answer, the hospital! Well that is…
Grieving the Person I Was Before Chronic Illness
“Click, click” is all I hear while I sit in front of my computer screen biting my lower lip trying my hardest not to cry (telling myself I need to be strong). “Oh no,” I can feel a tear fall down my face; there is the beginning of me grieving the person I used…
One Tough Spoonie 