I can say growing up I never really had a ‘niche’. I was always trying new activities and trying to fit in. Since I was a little girl, I felt like I was an outcast or I just wasn’t up to ‘par’ like the other kids. As I continued to grow I ended up finding…
When Lupus Makes You Break Up With Your First Love: the Sun
When I was younger, people used to always compliment my skin tone. I would have so many family and friends tell me how no matter how long I would stay in the sun, I would never burn. I never used sunscreen and it would take me days to look like I even went into the…
Dealing With Cancellation Policies When You Are Chronically Ill
OK, so maybe it’s just me… maybe I’m letting my emotions get the best of me. But I have something that need to get off my chest and share with others to see how they feel. This has been really bothering me lately and I doubt you’d ever imagine what it would be, but I…
When Lupus Causes You to Feel Internally Torn
As I write this I can feel tears fall down my face and my heart break just a little bit more. I have never felt so torn in my life – physically and mentally. Since my diagnosis I haven’t really come to terms with what I have for many reasons… sometimes my doctor thinks other…
How Lupus Changed Who I Thought I Would Be In My 20’s
Currently, I am 26 years old, going to be 27 in just a few months. Unfortunately, since I can remember, I have never felt completely “normal,” but I can say 16 was probably the best I ever felt. Looking back now 10 years ago, I had a vision of what now might look like. I had this image that…
Please Don’t Mistake My Honesty About My Illness for Negativity
Life constantly teaches us lessons. Whether they are lessons we want or ones we didn’t think we needed. I am truly one of those people who see the glass both half empty and half full. I am neither extremely negative nor positive. To be honest I’ve always been right in between because I see life…
When Loved Ones Make You Feel Alone in Your Battle With Chronic Illness
My heart feels like it’s been broken into a million pieces. That I am standing in a dark room seeing all the scattered glass around me. Crawled into a ball I am trying to hold back the tears, trying to put the pieces of my puzzling life back together. It’s becoming harder and harder to…
8 Ways Lupus Has Changed My Behavior
I always find it funny how quick people are to judge. Recently, I’ve been told by a few people close to me that I’m not as “nice” as I used to be and that I’ve changed. My question to them is, what do you expect when you’re at a constant war with yourself? It’s…
How I Thought My Diagnosis Would Bring Me Closer to ‘Normalcy’
I remember the day as clear as yesterday. I remember the feeling – lost, hopeless, and petrified. A few moments later my hands became stiff and I could no longer use them. I felt the beating of my heart like it was exploding through my chest. I was sitting at my desk at work when…
The Journey Begins
Thanks for joining me! Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton
One Tough Spoonie 