I would like to first say, I love you. That I couldn’t be more thankful nor grateful for anything else in my life as I am with you. We’ve spent many Valentine’s together and I couldn’t be happier. Though this one feels different. I am not sure why, but it just does.
Maybe, because this last year has been one of the hardest we have come to see. It’s been a year of trying to figure out our derailed life that we thought was going in a certain direction. It has been hard. Challenging. One thing after another.
Although, I think we’ve grown a lot, in such a short period of time. I can’t even tell you that I ever thought we’d be where we are today but I am glad.
But, there are many things I need to get off my chest, but it doesn’t feel right without writing them down… it’s the best way to correlate my thoughts.
So here it goes…
I am sorry! Im sorry for all the stress you’ve had to endure since ive entered your life. Im sorry for all ER visits, doctor appointments, labs, scans, waiting rooms, and all the terrible stuff that goes with my chronic illness life.I am sorry you had to become my caretaker at this early point in our lives. Im sorry that you have to eat gluten free stuff because of me. Im sorry that you no longer do many of thing things that you use to. Im sorry if I have caused you to have way more nights in then you ever planned to in your life. Im sorry for the endless medical expenses and that our lives are just not the way we envisioned them to be. I am so sorry for all the responsilbity that is on your shoulders.
Yet, I need you to know is that even though so much wrong has happened, I am hopeful for our future. I hopeful that things will get better. That we will grow into the people that we always wanted to be. That I will no longer feel like a burden. That you will be holding my hands when we have fun, not just when im scared. I hope you know that you make this life so much better. And without you I probably would have given up along time ago. You have been one my main reasons to keep fighting. And for that I thank you. Your love keeps me going in the hardest of times and my darkest. I appreciate all that you do for me. I know things might not seem the greatest but I promise I am working hard to get there. Fighting for the life I want to live with you.
Thank you for bringing me back off the ledge. Thank you for standing beside me. Thank you for always telling me that everything is going to be okay. Thank you for making me laugh when I want to cry. Thank you for being my reasoning when my world feels like its crashing down around me. Thank you for being the light in my darkness. Thank you for believing when I lose faith. Thank you so much for always being there when it truly counts.
Please never stop holding my hand and kissing the top of my head.