You, sitting there with your hands covering your face, wiping the tears from your eyes, breathing heavily, feeling ever so broken inside; the one who is chronically ill, living with chronic pain. I see you. I am actually one of you. And I am terribly sorry that your pain has gotten so bad.
As someone who is chronically ill, I know how tough this life can truly become. I know the exact feeling of “my life wasn’t supposed to be this way”. I am all too familiar with missing out on so much of my life because I’m sick. The insecurities it brings to your relationships, marriages, family, and even yourself. That feeling of despair when you look at yourself in the mirror and barely recognize the person you see.
I hope you know that you are not alone. Chronic illness has made me feel more isolated than I have ever have in my life. And I can assure you, that both of us are not alone. If you ever feel angry, or in grief of your old self, I am there with you. You feel two or three times your age? Me too.
That scared feeling you get when you’re in the ER and no one can help you, I’ve been there. Waking up each and every day wishing for it to be better, I live there. To live in a body that simply cannot keep up with your mind and aspirations, it’s hard.
I am not here to promise you that it’s going to get better. But I will promise you, that you will become stronger. I can tell you that what you’re feeling is totally normal. Don’t hold in your emotions, let it out. It’s actually better that you do! Yes, being ill 24/7 sucks! I will not ever pretend that it doesn’t. However, I do think we can still prosper, we still have a purpose, and we are still very much worthy!
I know at times your mind might be telling you otherwise. My friend, you will get through this. There will be moments where you feel like you won’t, but you will! If there is one thing I need you to know. And I will say it again and again. You are not alone!
This might not be the vision we had in our head, but take this opportunity to build a new one, edited one, or just one that makes you happy! Yes we might fall, we will get back up. Yes, this is extremely difficult, I won’t try to convince you otherwise. Most of all, we must remember that we are not just chronically ill, we are more!